He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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