Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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