That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
