I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
