Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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