Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize