Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
