i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
