Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
