You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
