Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
