They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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