I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
