so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
