4 words: hood of his car
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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