you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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