why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
