my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
