just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Someone signed my nipple.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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