Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
my poor anus
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
