also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
