and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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