and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
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I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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