My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
