maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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