the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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