There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
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Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
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Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have fence marks all over my body
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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