So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
