and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
