well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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