found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
