then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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