I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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