I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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