Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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