I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
