What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
