She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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