I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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