Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
