The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
