This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
