I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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