i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
