I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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