in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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