My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize