Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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