i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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