I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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