when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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