so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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