a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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