Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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