I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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