Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
