Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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