Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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